Starting Home Education, Part 1: Community

I sat around a table this morning with three very dear friends during a preliminary co-op meeting. During some down time, we each caught up on where we are in our homeschool adventure. I unloaded about how our family has been brainstorming ideas to help alleviate some of our (mostly) medical expenses, and how that might impact school. One friend shared that their upcoming move to another state may affect their decisions regarding schooling. Another chimed in about how she is hoping to get involved in a new co-op soon.

The point, though, isn’t really what we shared. It is the fact that we needed to, and that we had the opportunity to talk about these things with other moms who we know won’t judge or try to convince us of one thing or another. We get together for the sole reason of supporting each other.

The point is that we have that community. And I was struck again by just how vital these women are in my life.
First, please know that I am still in the early years of homeschooling our kids. This is our second year of formal schooling and, though I started researching this option when my children were in diapers…technically, I’m still a newbie. That said, home education is growing at an astounding rate. There are families out there who are more than eager to try this wonderful option, but have no earthly idea how to get started. So, here is my little contribution…

To be honest, I have found it difficult to start this post (notice the three separate intros? just…you know…go with it…). My husband and I tried to remember when it was that we made the decision to homeschool, but we had a difficult time pinpointing it. We never really had to think about it. Having spent time in private Christian schools, we each had friends with a variety of educational experiences. (Christian school classrooms often include former homeschoolers, former public or charter school kids, and long-term Christian or Catholic school kids.) We were familiar with the options, which meant we were less intimidated by them. So, when the time came around to choose an option for our family, the decision kind of made itself.

However, that is not the case for most families who consider home education.

Homeschooling is probably the fastest growing educational option in our country. It is growing at a rate of somewhere between 7%-15% per year, and some sources estimate that there are greater than 2 million K-12 homeschool students in the U.S. alone. It is legal in every state, and knows no socioeconomic, ethnic, or religious bounds. However, because home education is quite literally a “home grown” kind of experience, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly how to go about getting started. Most families feel very hesitant to make the decision, especially if they don’t have great support.

As I considered all of the little points that add up to a good start in homeschooling, I kept coming back to one particular aspect: community.

When you first place your child in public or private school, you go through a few steps, and everyone goes through these steps in pretty much the same way. You figure out your district and which school you are zoned for, you might visit the school and check it out, then you register, buy books and clothing, in some cases attend an orientation, and then send your child off on their adventure. Most of my friends whose children learn in a school building have really only been able to find a place in this community after their child has already started. They become room moms, field trip drivers, help on the PTA, or try to get to know the teacher directly. In part because public schooling is so standard for our society, the community happens after all of those other steps, and often is comprised of two separate groups which are both limited in size and duration – your child’s community of classmates, and your community of adults whose children learn together. Unless you schedule frequent massive play dates, you would be lucky to find more than one or two other parents with whom you really “click”.

Homeschooling is actually quite opposite of this. The single biggest aspect that has encouraged most of us in this journey is that the community happened first. Our family found homeschool buddies long before we ever purchased our first school book. In addition, this community is comprised of a wide variety of people, includes both children and their parents (you get to know all of them, together), and is not dependent upon grade-level or classroom size.

Very few details of home education are planned for you, which can be intimidating, but also makes for a wonderfully supportive collection of families who are all learning together. You could try to do all of your investigating online, but sooner or later, you’re going to need to talk to someone. (How did this curriculum work for your child? Do you school all year, or follow the district schedule? What do you think of this co-op?)

Once I found a group (or two or three) that I liked, the idea of providing my children’s education at home seemed much more attainable, and the journey became both easier and more fun. I have yet to meet a homeschooling parent that isn’t willing and eager to share their experience, with the primary purpose of making our experience better. I have learned more from these groups – about homeschool laws, registration, umbrella schools, curriculum, planning, parenting, etc – than I have from all of the books and articles that I have ever found. (And just to be clear, I’m an introvert, so groups aren’t usually my favorite setting.)

So, how did I find this community?

Homeschool groups are like concentric circles. Consider your family as the middle circle, and your closest group of homeschool friends as the next circle. (For me, that would be the dear ladies I mentioned above. These are the friends I vent to, laugh with, and who nerd out with me over a new curriculum.)

The third circle, for most of us, is either a church group or community group.
 If you attend a church and know of other moms (or a group!) in your church who homeschool, I would start there. You may have to dig a little bit, ask a few people, or check around at other local churches, but for Christian moms or those who want to find other homeschoolers with similar religious views, this is the most logical place to start.

If you don’t find other home educating families in your church, prefer to look outside of your church, or if you have already found that group and are ready to move on to the next circle, I would advise you to start small, as it is very possible to get involved in too many groups. This can be as easy as finding a Facebook group and joining just to observe. I have four or five that I follow, but limit myself to just the groups that are most pertinent to our family.

This circle would probably correspond to a community group (for those of us who have already found a group in our church), which often means a co-op. In our case, finding these groups is a little more complicated than simply joining a Facebook group (but not much). At this point, you will probably want to consult your state home educator’s association.

In Tennessee, we have a state homeschool group, made up of mostly volunteers, that acts as a hub of organized information for our area’s homeschool families. Most states have at least one of these groups. Ours is not affiliated with the state board of education, but I think this may vary depending on the state. Do a web search for [your state + home educator’s association]. Hop in their website and look around. In middle TN, the MTHEA provides limited legal advice (though not legal coverage), a very large yearly curriculum fair, a graduation for seniors, a newsletter, and a variety of other resources.

One of the resources MTHEA provides is a list of homeschool groups by county. (Concentric circle #4…or #5, if you like.) If your state association does not provide this, then simply do a more narrow web search [your county, state + homeschool]. Most of these groups, whether they are a support group for parents, a co-op for shared learning, or a drop-off tutorial group, will offer informative meetings once or twice a year. Most of them also have a Facebook group. As stated earlier, join that group and find a buddy or two. Go out for coffee and ask questions. Attend the info meeting. Schedule a play date if your kids are pre-school aged, or a family get together if they are older.

Side note: There are typically two kinds of groups referred to as “co-op”. One definition is a group of parents that get together for support, the other is a more organized group of families that meet once a week (or more!) to conduct lessons together. The second definition is by far the more common. In most co-ops, the students are grouped into small classes by age range, and families often share resources (like art or science supplies). Usually there is a fee, but most groups try to make it as affordable as possible. 



Don’t be surprised if this new community provides you with some very close and supportive friends. (This is particularly important of you have friends or family who do not respect or support your decision.) Once you’ve found those groups, well…you probably won’t need my advice anymore (if you ever did!), but I’m still going to write my next post on requirements and interests…just in case. 🙂